Assassin Landlord & Beauty Tenants – Chapter 0001

Chapter 1 (Assassin Work Sucks, Time to Change Jobs)

“Sigh, it’s been over a month without business.” With a bored yawn, Zhao Tie Zhu stretched, carelessly hitting the beer bottle beside him, making a clanking noise.

“Beep, you have a new message.” Zhao Tie Zhu’s cell phone suddenly vibrated. His face changed, a new project! He picked up his cell phone from the trash bin under his computer. He didn’t even know when it fell there. Zhao Tie Zhu clicked to open the message.

“Shit, what is this? Since when has my value dropped? Only 20 million to kill 5 people? I, Phantom, am a world-renowned Assassin. This is just insulting.” Zhao Tie Zhu sighed grievously. Unfortunately, nowadays business was scarce. He looked at his wallet, empty for who knew how long. This kind of money was easy come, easy go. Over a month with no jobs, he had spent all his money already.

“Fine, whatever. If it’s only 20 million then let it be. Motherf***er. After this job, I’m quitting. I need to find a more stable job and save for my marriage.” Zhao Tie Zhu lighted a cigarette and browsed his messages.

Later at night.

In Japan Ginza’s number one underground boxing arena, two fighters on stage were locked in life and death close combat. In a private room, several bodyguards dressed in black stood behind a fat man. On the fat man’s left and right side were two women. As he watched the fight, he messed with the women. It was a marvellous scene both on and off the stage. Heavy breathing voice could be heard.

At this moment, a dagger appeared out of nowhere in the air and swish, the fat man’s main artery was ripped open. There was only a faint sound, and then red blood squirted out, like a splendid fireworks display. Only then did the surrounding bodyguards realize that their boss had been killed.

A few hours later, several assassinations took place in the Ginza district. The amazing thing was that no one even saw the shadow of the assassin. Some of the veterans knew this was the work of the ‘Phantom’. There was this saying in the underworld: ‘If you all of a sudden see God, then it must have meant that Phantom appeared.’

The next day, Zhao Tie Zhu walked casually into the Bank. He gazed at the beautiful women behind the counters with their bank uniforms. Occasionally, he would lick his lips and swallow. If they considered him vulgar, then so be it.

Zhao Tie Zhu ignored the disgusted looks of the women and walked straight up to the front of a counter. He tossed his bank card to the female staff behind the glass window, asking her to check the account balance.

The female clerk frowned, picked up the dark card. It’s sticky texture made the woman frowned even more.

She swiped the card and watched a long sequence of 0s appear. Her small, cherry-like mouth opened wide.

Sure enough, seeing so much money in Zhao Tie Zhu’s card, the female clerk’s face changed in an instant and she softly said, “Sir, you still have 20 million left in your card.”

“Sigh, I’m not sure how many days it will take me to spend it all.” He sounded a little upset, and the female clerk’s eyes brightened even more.

“Sir, do you want to withdraw money?” she asked.

“No need. Just give me the card,” he replied.

The woman reluctantly returned the card to Zhao Tie Zu, along with a small piece of paper underneath the card.

Zhao Tie Zhu cast her a playful smile, and his fingers inadvertently touched her. She immediately glanced at him with her flirty eyes.

After he got up and walked out of the bank, Zhao Tie Zhu rubbed his fingers, and the note instantly turned into fragments.

“Boring.” Zhao Tie Zhu, his hands behind his head, slipped an unlit cigarette into his mouth and walked aimlessly down the street.

“Prime real estate opening today. Lakeside villa fully furnished on sale for only 18 million RMB. Pre-order as soon as possible.” Zhao Tie Zhu heard someone shouting from down the street and turned his head. There seemed to be property for sale.

“Come and buy. Buy it for your parents, also buy it for your wife and children. If your parents don’t want it, if you have no wife or children, then just buy one for yourself. If it’s too big for yourself, then you can also rent it out. Monthly rent could reach tens of thousands. This is a rare long-term investment opportunity with a stable income!”

Zhao Tie Zhu froze for a moment. That’s right. Wasn’t he going to quit as an assassin? Why not buy a villa to rent out? That way, every month he would get tens of thousands in revenue. Although he might not live in debauchery, at least he would not need to worry about his basic needs. With his brain lacking any sense of investment, he followed the voice and went over.

Seeing someone approaching, the young property salesgirl shouted louder, “Boss, looking at your young age, your grand appearance, your face so vigorous, your good looks, you must surely attract the attention of a lot of women. Wow, with just a glance I can see you’re a skilled and successful person.”

“What women? Ah, after all these years, big brother is still a virgin. How could I attract a lot of women?” Zhao Tie Zhu laughed.

“Ah, boss, if you buy a villa, your luck with women will turn. No matter how many you want, they will all come to you.” This sales girl was indeed talented. Swaying to the east and bullshitting to the west, she actually fooled Zhao Tie Cu into buying a villa.

As he took out his card to make the payment, Zhao Tie Zhu felt groggy to have his own villa.

After finishing all formalities, the salesgirl gave a pair of keys to Zhao Tie Zhu and said, “Congratulations, boss. You’re now a member of special villa owners. While others are still renting, you’re already way ahead. To celebrate, we should go out for a drink.” The salesgirl batted her eyelashes.

Looking at her fully made up face and airport-like figure, Zhao Tie Zhu hurriedly said, “No can do. I still have to move some of my stuff. I’ll have to take a raincheck.” He said that while leaving the real estate agency as if he was flying. (TL Note: Airport-like figure = Flat chest )

Back in his temporary dwelling place, Zhao Tie Zhu looked around at his room. He packed his computer and took a few items of clothing, then walked out of the room.

He followed the address given by the sales girl and arrived at the villa area of the West Lake region. After searching the way for half a day, he finally found the villa he owned.

No need to say, the villa’s location was superb. Upon entering, he found that the real estate company had decorated it in a splendid way. Zhao Tie Zhu felt satisfied and had no intention of changing anything. The villa was divided into two floors, plus an attic, with ten rooms. Such a large area and the decoration was also very good.

Zhao Tie Zhu entered the biggest bedroom, threw the clothes to the side, and lie in the bed. After all these years, this was the first time he had owned a house. His parents had left him for as long he could remember and Zhao Tie Zu had been raised by his grandmother. After his grandmother died, he became a loner. As for how Zhao Tie Zhu became the world-famous assassin, it started from one of his fortunate adventures. The story was quite a cliche. In his senior year of high school, he had skipped school one day and was hanging out on the streets harassing women. Perhaps even God would not stand him anymore, so a bolt of lightning struck him. When he woke up, Zhao Tie Zu found out he could somehow become invisible and his physical condition also became somewhat like a Superman. But he didn’t have a hero-like consciousness. Thinking about how to make use of his new abilities, the easiest way was to become an assassin. Being invisible, no matter how you tried to protect yourself, with a flash of a knife it would be done.

In just over a month, he gained fame in the underworld, and more and more people became aware of the name ‘Phantom’. Afterward, many strange things happened. No need to dwell much upon this for now, later on, it would unfold in time.

So up until now, with the world getting more peaceful, business was getting worse. So today, Zhao Tie Zhu had decided to retire for good.

After thinking about so many things, Zhao Tie Zhu fell into a deep sleep.

The next day, he woke up early. Thinking that since he now owned a house, he could rent it out. With this in mind, Zhao Tie Zhu could not help but smile. He turned on the computer, connected to the internet and logged into the city’s most famous social forum, where he posted a rental ad in the housing rental section. The ad was simple: Lakeside villa, cheap rent, welcoming 20- to 30-year-old single women to live here. Men, no need to apply.

After posting the advertisement, Zhao Tie Zhu got up and went to the balcony. He looked at the West Lake off in the distance. A slight drizzle floated in the air. making the West Lake seemed as if it was shrouded in mist.

Back during those years with her, he would have loved this scenery.

Zhao Tie Zhu gently rubbed his temples, threw away the cigarette in his hand, and leaped off of the balcony.

Splash. The outdoor pool downstairs splashed up a burst of water.

17 thoughts on “Assassin Landlord & Beauty Tenants – Chapter 0001

  1. Kensei Seraph

    Thanks for the chapter.

    It seems interesting so far.
    I’m curious about what kinds of people will answer his add.

  2. asriu

    ty for the chapter
    interesting~ I hope it really full comedy, read too much serious thingy make me felt bore
    have you make plan when chapter for this project released regularly?

  3. Leo

    No offense but I already like it better than legendary thief.
    Thanks for taking up this project

    How often will you be releasing the chapters…..

  4. Enj

    lol, thats an origin story…
    >get struck by lightning>gain invisibliity>become an assassin

    hope it keeps being on the funny slice of life side and not some kinda of supernatural battle stuff XD

    Thanks for the tl

  5. darkgo

    Theme is not properly working for this novel, it seems like one completely basic one and is really hard to read. I see that problem for around week already.


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